Monday 5 May 2014

Why Are The Elderly Lagos Cab Drivers (I’ve Encountered) So Angry?



Disclaimer: This piece is totally my observed and lived experience. I do not aim to generalize, so when I say “they”, I’m simply referring to the majority of the ones I’ve encountered.  I have driven with the mid-aged and the elderly and the difference in attitude is blindingly clear. Please feel free to share your conflicting or similar experiences.

Img: nairaland.com   4th May '14



In the past 4 months, I ridden in Lagos cabs enough times to recognize that perceived safety and security considerations aside, I would much rather enter a cab driven by a young or middle aged man, than I would, that of an elderly man.

Why? You may ask? It's simple. A large majority of the elderly ones I’ve encountered just seem so angry! And I really hope someone could tell me why. This anger I'm talking about is not just a mere scowl on the face. No. I'm talking about passive-aggressive anger, active-aggressive anger (if there's anything as such) condescending anger, angry at nature anger, angry at other people anger, angry at clients anger. Perhaps, submerged in this murky, slimy, rancid well of anger, there lies somewhere, an angry-at-self anger. Perhaps.

Mostly, I attempt to understand it. Sometimes, I rationalize to understand it. Other times, I ask to understand it. Eventually, I find myself abandoning my quest to understand it. Yet I remain curious. If you're still in doubt, let me describe to you, this anger that I am talking about:


Case 1: They seem mad at you

The initial contact, what ought to be an exchange of pleasantries, is anything but pleasant. An “ekaaro sir”, is immediately met with a grunt or a ‘kaaro’ with a scowl on the face. Fare bargaining is a whole ‘nother ball game. A difficult process on its own is made even more difficult with an attitude that seems to say ‘how dare you this girl challenge the price that I’m calling for you? Take it or leave it’ Then, there are times when mid-way into the bargaining, they just go silent and act as though they can’t hear you. How frigging rude!

Now you get in and the car radio is turned up so loud, you can’t hear yourself think. If a call comes in and you dare to take excuse to turn the music down a bit, you are sure to be shot a ‘dirty look’ loool. And you can bet that as soon as that call is over, you will definitely be re-assaulted with the same radio turned up to the same volume or even louder. (humming, ray-dee-o lagosi, tiwa n tiwa ni-tee-tee!)

If you happened to have made a prior arrangement with them, to be picked up at a particular time and they are late in arriving, (to be fair though, those occasions have been rare) you are certain to be greeted with an excuse, NEVER an apology. Perhaps there is the notion that apologies must only flow one direction – from juniors to seniors.


Case 2: They seem mad at other road users

To the female car driver who has the misfortune of being young and driving a fairly nice car, you’ll do well to steer clear. Please don’t cross their path or drive as aggressively as they do lest you run the risk of being labeled an oniranu, omo buruku, ashewo. Then, there are the personal drivers who cruise in their ‘big’ cars and dare to challenge these dear taxi drivers. They are not exempt from this anger. Try to battle it out with them on the road and you are bound to have words, angrily spat to the effect of “I pity you. With your oga’s car that you are using to shakara all about. Driver lasan laasan. Scratch my car and I will use your eyes to see mabo”. For people who they consider to be married women, they can tolerate their perceived silliness after all “it is your husband who put car seat under your bum bum that I blame” Even commercial bus drivers are not exempt. There is this air of superiority that can be felt when they hurl obscenities at the bus drivers as though to say “after all, I am a step up from your level”.

This anger runs deep. This anger is vicious. This anger is real.


Case 3: They seem mad at life.

The only thing I’m going to say about this is, Pray, tell me who wishes to spend an hour long journey listening to complaints and frustration at whatever news of the day that’s blaring from the car radio? Day to day living is frantic enough. The least one can expect is some silence and sanity on the journey to the next hustle. Polite conversation is one thing. However when a journey is turned into a laborious half lamentation, half therapy session, well, that is something entirely different.



So, I threw this question open to my friends and got some really interesting responses. A big majority of them felt the question was hilarious and lol-ed through it all. To all my fellow lol-ers, I lol and smh together back at you. One major theme stood out though, from the answers of those who responded. Many seemed to think this anger springs from the fact that many years ago, a number of them did not think they would be driving cabs in their old age.

To this, my response is: fair point, well made. My question though, is, should we automatically be accepting of whatever comes our way when someone who has a disappointment or regrets acts it out on one? Understanding, yes. But accepting on a consistent basis? I don’t know, really. And this is not just with regards to cranky cab drivers, but speaking generally. I believe each and every single one of us has our disappointment and regrets. What many do, is suck it up and move on. Does the coming of age equate a growth of bitterness? Or it is when the finality of life dawns? Basic two-way respect is the least gesture that should be offered and expected of any relationship be it work, family or personal. I speak honestly when I say that it is not in any way, my intention to trivialize the pains, trials or tribulations of any person. Pain is real. Disappointment is real. Ultimately though, attitude is always a choice.



17 comments:

  1. Good read Miss Olaniyan, as promised this is it. I should believe that a lot of that anger is as a result of the age factor/bracket like some will say 'grumpy old man'. They (angry cab driver) sometimes feel they have seen it all and know it all, so won't want to be bossed and take instructions from both their passenger(s) or any road user for that matter. This will be my take with respect to the matter. :)

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    1. Very well said, and I will not disagree with you, Tarela. Age and the cultural expectations and attitudes that come with it may very well be a contributory factor to these 'anger' theatrics. Thanks for stopping by again, Tare. :-)

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  2. well, i found every bit of this funny. you described the reality well enough. but the anger which you talk about is pervasive. it is everywhere. i don't often patronize taxis but a long time ago, i decided to block out noises from the buses i enter by never forgetting my ear-piece at home.
    Lovely writing as always, by the way.

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    1. Lool. Akeem, I had this funny cab guy who whenever I tried to block out his rantings with earphones, or by reading a book, will always go - "Doyin, shey o n gbo mi?" Every time. And me being the good Yoruba child that I am (hehe), my reply always has to be "Mo le gbo yin sir. Forcing me to divert my full attention to him.

      As to the anger being pervasive, maybe. Rut really, Akeem, I have driven with the mid-aged ones and they seem a lot more good-natured about these valid issues we all face. And more respecting of space, silence and time.

      I'm glad you liked. :-) Do come back soon!

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  3. Very well written....me I still think that in addition to all the points listed, if they had ACs and they drove automatic cars, they might be happier....perhaps?

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    1. loool. Thanks Ogo. You and this AC issue sha! lool. You would sthink so, innit? This anger runs deep babes. E don pass wetin cool breeze fit blow away. Perhaps sha..... I'll leave others to comment on this...

      Welcome and thank you :-)

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  4. Hey! Good piece again. Another chance to shadow-blog ;) :D

    I have often asked myself this question and the first answer that readily springs to mind is that we are all a sum total of our experiences and they must have had more than a fair share of off days.

    I get to thinking again when I consider bus drivers, conductors, agberos and car wash attendants; when I try to look into what they'd be doing much later with their current skills and it dawned on me that these are likely the past of these old cab men.

    If my thought holds true, imagine the possible various permutations of experiences that will have shaped their perspective. Imagine how much of self-pity that will graduate to 'others-hatred', or how much of bad livingcourses that they must have aced in the school of hard knocks so much so that that's the only life they know to live now in old age. I reckon that family is essential for enjoyable old-age life. How many of these folks could have led such lives enough to be reaping its comfort?

    To expand the discussion beyond cab guys, how often do you meet grumpy or uneasy old folks? I bet a lot... You get this age-long vibe of anger emanating from them, like you had a hand in their condition by merely having slightly better fortune.

    Lol... I know, I know. I've started again ×_×

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    1. Hahaha! Ajetopoulouses. Blogger-within-blog-blogger. I've missed you this guy. loool. Glad you're here.

      Okay, where do I start? As always, fair and valid points you've raised. It sorta feels like you didn't finish saying all you wanted to say? I like your reasoning, your giving their imagined growth curve. It sure does help in understanding their behaviours and actions.

      And generally, as for grumpy old folks, I honestly don't encounter them often. But then again, perhaps its because I've not had a chance to interact deeply with many. I dunno, maybe.

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  5. Very well written! Doyin suraaa..

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    1. Thank you Solo. I'm excited that you even took out time to read it. Hehehe. Thank you plenty sir,

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  6. Interesting Read!!!

    Reminds me of a cab man that said to himself while conveying me...."afterall, all of you (driving big cars) have either killed or stolen our money". To think that he said all of that because of the guy in another car (2005 Honda Accord), I concluded that y'all driving cars of N1.5m+ are murderers and thieves. How funny the way they think?

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    1. Its amusing, that remark. Its also interesting that it provides food for thought.

      Ours is a country where "success" is not necessarily a resultant offspring of hard work and diligence. Its therefore unsurprising when those who have "worked hard" all their lives are dumbfounded at the objects of wealth of those whose handiwork (even legitimate) cannot be instantly seen.

      Thanks so much for opening up a wider discussion, Jide.

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  7. This is a keen observation, really. I agree with the fact that this phenomenon could be related to developmental psycho-social issue compounded by low- if not the lack of- ethical values in our social structure. I stand to be corrected!
    It's refreshing to see you here again. Welcome!

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    1. Glad to be back in my zone! :-D Thank you.

      Trying to wrap my head around the big big grammar here. lool. On the work ethics bit, I strongly share that sentiment with you. We are in dire need of people who realize the need to get the job done without the crappy avoidable excuses, infusion of personal drama, personal life inquiries/inquests and what not.

      It would be helpful if you could expand on the psycho-social issue you raised, please?

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  8. I agree with you Doyeen, I have encountered my fair share of angry babas, woe betide you if there is traffic, they will go on and on abut how they shouldn't have carried you (as if they carried you for free) and how the fare you are paying is too small for this wahala, lol the hustle is real, but then again diving in Lagos is enough to make even the most cheerful of us mad as hell.

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    1. All correct! Sometimes our approach to service in Nigeria is as though we are doing the other party a favour. The realities of the road are constant (traffic, potholes, insane driving). Unfortunately, for some, grumpy service is also a constant.

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  9. Well it's very true. Some of these old cab drivers can even go as far as telling you “bole mi ò lọ mọ” (get down I'm not going again) if they see traffic. The Radio Lagos part got me tho.. Spot on!!! Lol

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